I realised my feelings for you are getting harder and harder to supress. Yet, as much as i want to tell you how i feel about you, my fear of rejection grows to such proportions that it is about to overwhelm me. I don't know what to do...As the dangers of 'A' levels loom over us, i know i should be concentrating on my studies but...i still do think about u...hahaha....perhaps you could be a "stress ball" to me...something to let me dwell upon to prevent me from going over the edge...whatever the reason...i can't stop thinking about you.
Ironical isn't it? I really want you to know...i really want the feeling reciprocated...but yet...i know deep down inside...it's not...you don't feel the same way as i feel for you...Haha...and as much as i want you to realise my affections, i fear for the inevitable rejection and for that reason alone, i keep mum...These opposing feelings are tearing at my heart...i feel at a total lost...haha...the exact way i feel when i'm around you...
I really want to give u a good impression...I really do... i want you to see me as someone fun-loving yet reliable as well...HA...but everytime you talk to me...fear fills my throat and my heart races...so much so that i could only come up with a one word reply..."HURH?" i know...it looks dumb, sound stupid...i don't want to be that way...but i can't help it... i really can't...my friends laugh at my reaction but there is truly nothing i could do...
Its so hilarious...while i'm typing out my inner most feelings, you sms me...hahaha....my heart skips a beat...such coincidence...i really wonder what you think about me?? what am i to you? just another classmate or even less than that? I just want an answer really...i just want to know...the pressure is killng me...i'm losing the ablility to breathe...no, wait...i'm fooling myself...you'll never like me... i know you never will....but i can't help hoping...
Funny how i spend the entrie weekend thinking about how i can get over you...how wrong you are for me...but on monday...as i tell myself "GET OVER IT"...i see you...and everything disappears... all the reasons, all the telling myself i'm not good enough, all the saying we aren't compatible at all...all of it...simply disappears...And i find myself at level 1...i don't want to like you...but i do...how long is it before i can let you go?
No one understands...no one know why i like you...honestly, even i don't know the reason...but i just do...
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