My thoughts

These few days i have been thinking abut quite a few things (by the way...u will noe its bad if my imagination runs wilds...harhar):
1. Why am i so obsessed over Lee Hom?
2. What role does he play in my life?
3. Why m i even writting this on my blog?
4. Why do i even have a blog?(i was thinking of this as i read shar's blog)
HEH...just realised its alot of questions...so how bout i explain each one every day?

Firstly...Lee Hom...All my friends are like *groan* every time I show them this silly grin on my face...they will be like "Lee Hom? Again?"...NOT that i blame them...i mean i guess it can be kind of annoying... And my entire CLASS knows my obsession for him...even deyao did this GC thingy with me professing my love for Lee Hom... So it makes me think...why am i so obessed over him when other girls are like evidently not as crazy as me? WHY? i thought of it over the past few days...and honestly, i could not come up with a definite answer...

I mean...i know that i have NO chance with him...i know that...even if by the bigest MIRACLE in life...i actually get the chance to meet him...and an even more impossible miracle of him interested in me...I WILL NOT DATE HIM...NOT AT ALL...why? he can't give me the security i want...Also, we have religious differences and A HUGE age gap...So if there is no chance why be so obsessed?? You can call me weird but i think that it is PRECISELY that he and I have no chance together that i can be so obessed...to tell u the truth...I M SCARED. i m scared of relationships...yet when every you see them, read about them or have anything to do with them...I kind of envy them, yet fear it with my life...ONCE i find out someone likes me...I RUN...i seriously mean RUN LIKE HELL....you might be laughing your head off and saying something along the lines of "someone would actually LIKE her??" hahaha....but its the truth that i fear relationships. So i guess here's how Lee Hom comes into the picture. HE...will never ask me out. HE...will never treat me any differently then filling up my windows media player. and lastly...HE sets the standard...i kind of have no interest in other guys cos they can never compare to him..so i will never have to put myself into the danger of getting into a relationship...

Another reason that i m so obsessed with him is just to keep me sane. When i m under a lot a lot of pressure...i need to let my imagination go wild... and w Lee Hom (whose like perfect by my standards) my imagination can go as wild as...i dun even noe what...but wild...and that is my way of not buckling under the immense stress...

The last reason...is really sad la..in my opinion...but its a reason all the same and i suspect that this reason is more significant then i want it to be... TO ME LEE HOM HAS BEEN WHAT I HAVE CREATED MY PERSONALITY AROUND....i crave uniqueness...i really do....i strive on being different...and i guess i had subconciously used him...To almost all my frens i m first and foremost "THE LEE HOM FREAK" and even to my classmates...and i guess i like it...it has become my personality...that i m the weird lee hom freak...call me weird but i m different all the same... Perfect is not my thing but being unique is...